PART TWO - HOGGENHEIMER DETOUR

MY GAUTRAIN RAMBLES

While using Gautrain transport on a daily commute, I noticed how some of the stations are close to interesting areas worth exploring. Instead of zooming past or jumping on a bus, I did a bit of rambling about. This is a blog of what I saw and learnt on my walks through those areas - or at least, some of what I saw.

PART TWO

HOGGENHEIMER DETOUR

THE RANDLORDS

Daniel Boonzaier, a cartoonist from Carnavon in the Karoo created the cartoon character of Hoggenheimer in 1910. This figure was the archetypal Randlord - the bloated British imperialist capitalist.

Rich and greedy, oppressor of the poor and the controlling force manipulating the government.

His first Hoggenheimer cartoon shows how Hoggenheimer manipulates the government into importing cheap Chinese labour. In a later cartoon, he shows the result.

Hoggenheimer then became a popular cartoon figure and in the beginning, it is clearly Rhodes and his cronies who are depicted. The Hoggenheimer figure was later twisted into being not British but Jewish, and the German Jews were specifically targeted. This was done in an effort to put pressure on them to leave the country and sell their shares cheaply. The personification was Ernest Oppenheimer, the representative of Baron Rothschild.

NORTHWARDS

Instead of turning right out of Oxford into Victoria at North Lodge, turn left and cross the M1 highway. From across the highway, the roof of Northwards can be seen sticking out above the trees. Northwards is in the property of the Wits residences (Knockando Halls) in Rock Ridge Road (on the north corner with the highway) and the security guard is quite happy to let one in.

"CREMATE ME AT MIDNIGHT"

When José Dale Lace died on 14 May 1937, she was, in accordance with her wishes, cremated at midnight and her ashes were "scattered to the wind". Her husband, John, followed her just twenty-two days later. In his words, "life with José is hell. - life without her is worse" - so he died. Such drama gave many people the pip but she had 'personality' and she was interesting and at least better looking than the rest of the Randlord wives who tended breed quite horsey.

Josephine Cornelia Brink was born (1869) to an Afrikaner noveu riche family in Richmond in the Karoo. These were people with social aspirations and they were friends with Jan Hofmeyer (Onze Jan) the leader of the Cape Afrikaner community and connected into the Rhodes social set. (Rhodes proposed to Josephine but she declined.)

When she was seventeen, and a tall blonde beauty, she was introduced to Queen Victoria and the Royal Court. She was captivated and soon she was in London as an aspiring 'actress'. There she caught the eye of the extremely wealthy and extremely ugly Baron Grimthorpe who took her under his wing and set José up in a house of her own overlooking Kensington Gardens where the Baron could visit her to ensure she was comfortable. Becoming a baroness appealed to José who agreed to the arrangement with an understanding - she would become the next baroness if the current one departed this earth.

This soon came about, but there were no marriage overtures. In a fit of rage Josè (she preferred to be called José), married another besotted suitor, John Dale Lace - also a gentleman of some means. The good Baron shrugged his shoulders but José would not let John touch her - she wanted to be royalty. She managed to cut the tensions between her and Grimthorpe and fell pregnant with his child. Believing she was now sure to become a baroness, José divorced Dale Lace. But no luck. Again, the Baron shrugged his shoulders and wished her well for the future.

News of her debasement and humiliation had London in a twitter and José grabbed Dale Lace and made a run for Cape Town. There, their second wedding took place in 1897 when José was already twenty-eight. The marriage produced no children.

Dale Lace needed a job so he bought a diamond mine. After living in Doornfontein, the Dale Laces had Sir Baker, build them, the forty roomed Northwards - at the time, the most expensive property in Johannesburg.

 While John played cricket and acted blind José went on a whirl.

She:

Drove a carriage pulled by four zebras

Bathed in milk for a smoother skin

Made and altered dresses to exquisite standards

Bathed in a bath on rails that she rode around in

Had a constant round-robin of visitors

Gave stylish garden parties during the day

Gave even more stylish masked balls at night

Made women, in a society used to a low décolleté, flinch

Slept under black satin sheets

Received all morning visitors carefully arranged in bed

The Northwards gardens stretched all the way down to Oxford Road and José could ride all the way down to the Limpopo River through Forest Town and Saxonwold through unspoiled plantations. She was an exceptional rider and due to her substantial rump and a willingness to use the crop, she brought to heel even the friskiest stallion.

José was very decadent and frivolous but she was also one of those people who remained calm in a crisis and got things done.

On 12 September 1918, the Galway Castle was torpedoed by a German U-boat. On board was José returning from Europe where she drove a war ambulance. Travelling first class with her was Ernest Oppenheimer. From the start, they headed into rough seas and fun was not had by all, and it became especially unpleasant when they had to take to open lifeboats after the ship had been torpedoed. Throughout the ordeal, José calmed and organised the frantic passengers.

Seeing her composure, a newlywed mother fearing her husband would not be allowed on the boats, entrusted her baby to José. She planned to stay with her husband and both Dorothy and Edward drowned leaving the child an orphan who was later adopted. José kept contact and contributed to the girl's education in later years.

After José had spent all John's money, the house caught fire and they moved out and Northwards was bought by Sir George Albu.

George was a sales assistant at Stuttafords before moving to Kimberley and becoming a zillionare. He and his brothers started the General Mining and Finance Corporation that later became Gencor and BHP Billiton. His wife was sensible, staunch and took no nonsense, and three generations of Albus grew up in the house.

HOGGENHEIMER ALTRUISM

Rock Ridge Road is gated and can only be entered from the western end so a walk around down Eton Road is required. Taking up most of a rather boring block is the Donald Gordon Hospital.

The hospital came into being in 2002 after Sir Donald (he became a sir after donating money to a opera house in London) gave Wits University the money to buy the old Kenridge Hospital - and it was a lot of money.

The hospital is a teaching/academic hospital specialising in areas not covered by the traditional teaching hospitals. It teaches practises going beyond what would be considered 'standard care'. Though covering several fields they have become best known for their liver transplant unit - the unit serves as an illustration of how the hospital functions.

There are many people born with faulty livers or who through no fault of their own lose liver function. Most of them cannot afford a liver transplant and the state cannot afford to cover the entire cost of keeping a transplant unit going. The Donald Gordon can cover the shortfall because they also offer the service to the extremely wealthy who pay massively for transplants - or their medical aids pay. 

Gordon words of wisdom:

• Strive for excellence, not perfection
• Be bold and courageous
• Never give up on what you really want to do
• Be tough minded but tender-hearted

DONALD GORDON HOSPITAL CAFETERIA

This is possibly the best pit-stop on the entire walk. Clean toilets, nice place, great coffee, wide variety of snacks - sushi!.

But only during the week.

On weekends and public holidays it is toasted sandwiches - creating future business for the hospital.

ROCK RIDGE (OR ROCKRIDGE) ROAD

There is an interesting sign at the entrance:

  

  

HERBERT BAKER

Herbert Baker designed many of the houses in Parktown and none of them is particularly nice. A couple of examples of his work can be seen along Rockridge Road, including the house he built for himself. Dour, cold looking heaps of rock. I suspect Baker was a great craftsman/mason but a very average architect. It was only his association with Rhodes and later Milner who got him commissions and fame. 

He is a typical example of a politicised artist, houses built to reflect gravitas and permanence - to show the British had come to stay and was going to take no nonsense. The 'Boers' could wait cap in hand at the kitchen door.

Baker houses are the artistic expression of oppression.

At the bottom of Rockridge road is St Margaret's - another gross Baker heap but the gardens are brilliant. The house is, very importantly, beautifully restored and well looked after.

  

Across the road from the monstrosities is a wonderful garden complete with waterfalls - there are some offices as well.

 OUTSPAN

17 ROCKRIDGE ROAD

The house was built for Major Walter 'Karri' Davies by Herbert Baker.

 

Unfortunately modern historians try to justify the British attack on the Boer Republics as a fight for liberty. In the case of Karri Davies, the theory is advanced that he fought the Boers because he was Jewish and the Boers were oppressing the Jews. His lifelong friendship with Rhodes is not mentioned.

The assertion that the Boers oppressed Jews is not in accordance with the facts. It is not even true that the Boers hated Randlords - both Sammy Marks and Barney Barnato was great friends of Kruger.

There is obviously a perception problem. In 1893, Kruger fought an election against Piet Joubert. One of the big issues was Kruger's refusal to change his attitude towards Jews. Eugene Marais became the chief accuser and attacked Kruger mercilessly. He was rabidly anti-Semitic. And we now know, sponsored by Rhodes.

Jews had been coming into the ZAR from Russia and Poland when it became known Kruger did not discriminate against Jews at all. These Jews spoke Yiddish, where very religious, and were highly and outspokenly critical of the 'decadent' Randlord Jews. In return, the British and German Jews regarded the Russians and Poles as uncivilised. 

Kruger had a staff with a large number of highly educated Jews. Interestingly Jews like De Vries, a member of the Volksraad caused great antagonism because he wanted Afrikaans taught in schools. Afrikaans in schools was already at this stage a problem as the Uitlanders wanted their children to be taught in English. Another problem with Kruger's Jews was their ability to read a balance sheet and they acted as accountants who brought the cheating Randlords to book - and their loyalty lay with Kruger, not the Randlord Jews.

Walter Karri Davies was on a sales trip from Australia with the task of selling Karri-wood to the mines. When war came, he helped form the Imperial Light Horse Regiment and was appointed as a major mainly because he contributed a substantial sum. Not knowing a thing about war, he relied on bravery and dumb luck to get through the war. Though he was seriously wounded, it was unfortunate for all his troops who died unnecessarily he wasn't killed on the first day of the war. But historians care little for such details - in the history books he is portrayed as the brave defender of Judaism.

Light Horse was one of the better Uitlander units and it was retained in every subsequent South African army. Eventually, after many adventures, it became part of 81-Armored Brigade, a Pretoria based and very Afrikaans unit - they were still 'Rooinekke' but they had lots of money for beers.

After Rockridge Road it is down to Jan Smuts left, and left again for the shock of the:

QUEEN OF THE COSMECEUTICALS EMPORIUM

Cnr Sherborne and Jan Smuts

 

The Reeva Beauty and Health Products building looks like a giant white mausoleum with not a sign of life to be seen during the day.

Reeva Forman built this company using her own image and the strength of her personality and from a business perspective, it will be interesting to see if it can survive her death.

Health and cosmeceuticals make wild claims that are at best a little silly but could be extremely dangerous. Let the buyer beware. Reeva sells a vitamin supplement for use while on a restrictive diet, which "may result in a tendency to weight increase". Then why not then just eat healthy?

And her tanning lotion "allows tanning" but "blocks out harmful UVA/UVB rays". It is impossible to tan without harmful UVA/UVB rays damaging the skin. In any case, vampires have to use factor 1000 or they catch alight.

DYSART HOUSE/ABBERTON

Next to Reeva

A rather boring Baker house (apparently the roof has architects in a swoon), originally built for the Australian, CW Dix.

There is a massive oak tree in front of the house. It is so big that it was difficult to take a photo while the security guard was chasing me - no photos allowed. 

Dix was a post office worker before the Anglo-Boer War, and then went to work for the WNLA (Witwatersrand Native Labour Association), known amongst locals as 'Wenela'. Wenela recruited black workers for the gold mines locally and in the rest of southern Africa all the way to the Congo. One of the main reasons for Britain starting the War was the refusal of Kruger to allow unlimited labour, and especially foreign labourers, into the ZAR (Transvaal). The problems he foresaw - single sex hostels, violence, xenophobia - all came true. The Wenela recruitment structure was truly astonishing and recruiting stations had clinics and provided all sorts of services. The prospective miners were medically screened and taught Fanagalo before leaving for the mines.

Wenela lured workers to the mines with the promise of giving them the financial ability to buy goods from the glossy brochures rubbish that was freely distributed.

The workers stick the brochure filled with rubbish above their beds in the mine compounds and after a day of backbreaking work lie and stare at the picture of the most ridiculously kitschy furniture and goods. Every month, money is deducted from their salaries and at the end of the year; they go home to a village without electricity - with a fake crystal chandelier. The financing system of these goods is completely dishonest even if it is legal.  

The second and more successful recruitment strategy was a pretence working on the mines proves the person was a man and not a child. It became part of the tribal system of initiation.

The third was pressure from the village because 'property' taxes have to be paid to the local captains or kings or chiefs or even the government. Obviously, the whole lot are in cahoots and skim their bit of the top.

Kruger really was right about this one.

ASBESTOS RELIEF TRUST

5 Sherborne Road

DEAD BEFORE THEY GET SICK

The Kgalagadi Relief Trust concerns itself specifically with environmentally acquired asbestos-related diseases (ARD). It is a can of worms reflecting extremely badly on South African society but not for the obvious reasons. Between 2003 and 2010, there were 53 cases (146 claims) of environmental ARD. At the same time there was more than 15 000 cases of labour related ARD.

Considering how many people live close to or even on top of asbestos dumps nobody expected such a low figure. (There were almost no cases from asbestos in the walls or ceilings.)

The answer lies in the ages of the claimants with most of them in their sixties. Unlike labor related ARD, environmental ARD requires constant exposure over a long period. With a life expectancy of around fifty, very few people live long enough to get environmentally induced ARD. They die from AIDS, or stabbings or car accidents long before they can get sick

 

ST GEORGE'S CHURCH

7 Sherborne Road

HERBIE'S WORST PIECE OF WORK

The original building was by Herbert Baker and it is dark and gloomy, with a design based on a coffin - so the congregation can sit there and get used to the idea.

St George's Church is known as the church of the Randlords and it was meant to be for their use away from the smelly miners. For the women it was a place to see and be seen, and look for prospects - a form of mining. For the men, it was a place to make deals and plot coups, and smile at enemies - a form of worship.

Due to its phallic tower speaking of good things to come, the church is one of Johannesburg's most popular wedding venues.

The organ was donated by the Oppenheimers and looks like the monstrosity in Rocky Horror Picture Show. Regular concerts are held but they are rather pricey - but it helps to keep away the riff-raff.

NOW LETTEST THOU THEY SERVANT DEPART IN PEACE

The memorial plaque in memory of Harry Oppenheimer in the garden of St George's quotes from Luke 2 and it is the "they servant" part which is curious. After his death, a memorial service was held for Harry in 2000 who was cremated, and his father Ernest was buried here, at the church, in 1957. This must strike most people as odd. How did two good Jewish boys landed up becoming servants of the Anglican Church?

The whole thing started in Kimberley with the discovery of diamonds. When Cecil John Rhodes died in 1902, Ernest Oppenheimer at the young age of 22 was sent to Kimberley to take over the running of the De Beers office in the town. He joined and took part in the activities of the local Jewish community. After Harry was born, he had his bris in the local synagogue, a building completely out of place in a dusty mining town. Contrary to rumour, Harry never had a Bar Mitzvah, not at this synagogue, nor at any other. 

  

The Russian/Byzantine fantasy synagogue is the most fanciful one in South Africa and is still in use, but the other two that Kimberley has had, are now gone. De Beers wanted the land of the oldest one so they donated a huge plot of land. In place of the synagogue, they put a statue of Rhodes. It is still there - for the moment at least. The other one was for 'Kruger Jews' and was broken down when the community became too small - its benches can be seen in medical waiting rooms in the town.

During World War One, an anti-German crowd stormed his house and Ernest sent his family to Cape Town and then to London. Returning from London after a visit, he survived the Galway Castle sinking.

The death of his first wife May, and son Frank, shortly after each other brought on a spiritual crises and he converted to Christianity. Luckily, this happened just after he met Lady Caroline (Caroline Harvey 'Ina' Oppenheimer) - daughter of an English Baron. They found love at first sight and got married.

Ina was already, 'Lady Oppenheimer' and her son was 'Sir Oppenheimer' and his wife was also 'Lady Oppenheimer'. This all came about because Ina was the widow of Sir Michael who was the son of Ernest Oppenheimer's brother, Sir Bernard.

Being a Christian helped Sir Ernest immensely to overcome anti-Semitic prejudice and he even got financing from the virulently anti-Semitic JP Morgan to form Anglo American. The South African government, especially General Jan Smuts also looked on him kindly and he got the rights to all the diamond mining in Namibia. These two events made it possible for him to establish complete control over the world diamond industry and control a large share of its gold market.

Sir Harry, technically up to that point still Jewish, entered the Anglican Church before his marriage to Bridget McCall in 1943. He met her, of all places, on Robben Island.

Robben Island was a prison since the 17th century for people like Jan Taljaard who cooled his heels there for 15 years after calling a British judge a French bagpipe. In 1845, Robben Island became a mental asylum and this was an apocalyptic horror. Here was sent:

The insane

Diseased prostitutes

The unemployed

Lepers

Homeless people

Alcoholics

The old

And anybody useless to society

They had little shelter, food, care and there was only limited control.

In 1931, it was such a mess it was decided instead of trying to fix it, everybody on it would be removed and the island was turned into a coastal defencive installation. Unfortunately, the big naval guns weren't in place for World War 2 - fortunately nobody attacked.

During the war, most of the military personnel were female and one of them was Lieutenant Bridget McCall - signals.

Harry was in the desert with the 4th Armoured giving Jerry hell and then when that job was done, he as battle-hardened intelligence officer was sent to the Castle in Cape Town. And ...

Love at first, 'signal'.

He went on to make even more gazillions and she achieved fame with her race-horses. And she did some big charity work.

Sadly, becoming Anglican could not stop the dreaded Tay-Sachs, the Ashkenazi disease, that skipped generations and then took their son.

Sherborne Road leads under trees past boring offices back up to the highway - left and across with a lovely view of Dolobran.

Part One - PARK

MY GAUTRAIN RAMBLES

While using Gautrain transport on a daily commute, I noticed how some of the stations are close to interesting areas worth exploring. Instead of zooming past or jumping on a bus, I did a bit of rambling about. This is a blog of what I saw and learnt on my walks through those areas - or at least, some of what I saw.

PART ONE

PARK

My ramble from PARK STATION started by first walking all the way through the station for real trains (and long-distance buses) to the back, or what was in the old days, the front. There is actually no way to describe the scene - 'weird' doesn't quite do it justice. It is a place of desperation - everybody looks unhappy and unexcited. Food in the street at the back (or front) is served 'a la African'. The samp in a plastic plate, the home brew in a plastic glass and a chunk of fatty meat carved up and served on the metal table, on the table itself - not a plate. The meat is flame-grilled over a fire in a drum.

This photo of the front - the 'KFC Station'.  

  

The toilets in the fast food court are okay and the men's urinals have little goals with a ball hanging in them to aim for - but this area is a 'fast fat food zone'. (Burger King has discontinued its range of salads.) It is terrible. Okay for bad coffee, terrible tea, cold water or juice for the road.

There is a bit of history to the station. On 24 July 1964, a "symbolic" petrol and dynamite bomb went off during peak hour and eliminated the first 'white racist supremacist' in the long struggle for freedom. 77-year-old Ethyl Rhys was disintegrated holding the hand of her 12 year old grandchild who had her face torn off for a horrific permanent disfiguration that oozed her entire life. The 'martyr', 'hero' convicted of the 'heroic' attack said this about the explosion:

I felt a tremendous understanding of the world

Such a good idea

So beautiful

From the station, I went up the steep Rissik Street, following the curve to the left when it became Loveday, then through Theatre Park to the Civic Theatre. I bargained it was safe to walk as all the homeless hanging about were in no state to chase me up a hill so steep.

The CIVIC THEATRE has a lovely foyer - aircon! The toilets are great but unfortunately, the restaurant is only open when there is a show on. It is an opportunity to pick up flyers and look at posters and news clippings - very interesting older posters can be seen along the passages on the sides. To the right (the east) of the entrance is nice little rose garden and famous stars hands- and feet- prints in cement. Besides people like Rolf Harris and Tobi Cronje, there is Phyllis Spira and Dawn Weller - two icons of ballet in South Africa. (Dawn's footprint shows an almost perfect 'fifth position'.)

 South Africa has only had three prima ballerinas - Phyllis Spira, Dawn Weller and in 2014, Burnise Silvius. Phyllis Spira (1943 - 2008) is one of only twelve ballerinas in the history of the world who became a prima ballerina assoluta (the 'absolutely number one top dancer). At age sixteen, she went to train with the Royal Ballet and joined the company. Upon her return, she did most of her dancing in Cape Town but Johannesburg claim her as their own as she started school at Sydenham Hebrew Nursery School and ended it at Waverley Girls. In 1988, she had an accident during the opening night of Giselle and it ended her career.

Going back past the foyer back into the top of the garden and to the left - the western side - of the theatre complex. (left of the theatre parking at the corner of Stiemens and Simmonds). Here is one of the nicest mid city nooks in the world overlooked by the lovely ballet studios.

  

To the left of the ballet studio is a walkway up to Hoofd Street with the NATIONAL SCHOOL OF ARTS in front. It looks as if the school buildings are ready to fall down any minute.

  

I walked around the corner to look at some clear geological folding before coming back in Hoofd turn left in Joubert Street. On the corner is Braampark office buildings. (They look impressive from the lower down the hill.) Across the road is the Constitutional Court and at the bottom of the court is the QUEEN VICTORIA MATERNITY HOSPITAL. The 'art deco' building is abandoned and … what a mess! The photo shows the Victoria Hospital with its huge balconies next to the bottom end of the Constitutional Court's parking lots. Back then, it was believed fresh air was good for mother and child. Nowadays even the baby rats wake up coughing from all the pollution in this area.

The foundation stone for the hospital was laid by Lady Selborne in 1906.

At present the hospital occupies a temporary site, but the erection of the new hospital is being proceeded with, and on Aug. 16th the foundation stone of the building was laid by the Countess of Selborne.

South African Medical Record

The stone now lies at the back of the old Fever Hospital.

Opposite the Constitutional Court is the old FEVER HOSPITAL that is now used as a children's shelter. It is worth talking, or sneaking, past the guards to see the very small abandoned synagogue in the grounds. The place looks rough.

Next to the Fever Hospital, and part of the same complex is the CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL/TRANSVAAL MEMORIAL INSTITUTE built in the memory of those from the Transvaal who had died in WWI. It now serves to help children who are in trouble. Seeing the squalor of a place that takes care of children is grim. Inside are signs warning the children smoking dagga is against the rules of the institution.

The hospital is haunted by the murderess, Daisy de Melker, whose ghost returned to happier hunting grounds, after she was hanged at age 46 in Pretoria Central Prison in 1932. Here she worked as a young nurse and gained first-hand knowledge of poisons. She was only ever convicted of the murder of her son, the only one of five children who had survived childhood. Her two husbands also died of what was clearly poisoning but there was not enough evidence for a conviction.

At the bottom of the hill by BP I turned left into Empire (actually I cut trough BP and watched the trailers being loaded for long trips 'home' - half of Gauteng's rubbish is exported), and almost immediately right in Hillside. The fat free cappuccino at BP is okay but their muffins are bleh. A little further, along the road at Engen the coffee is quite unacceptable but the muffins are good.

A few steps from Empire in Hillside Rd, there is a bridge across the Limpopo River that is still very small and mostly underground in this area.

Up and around the curve when it becomes Girton Road. Along this stretch, there are some really impressive modern office blocks.

At Nedbank I turned right into St David and walked across the intersection to MIKE'S KITCHEN to look at the menu. The heritage people have gone to a lot of trouble to save the building - I wish they would go to the same amount of trouble to get the name boards, which completely spoil the building, removed.

  

Most dishes on the menu at Mike's Kitchen are as unhealthy as those at the station but the portions are way bigger. The majority greater than 35 BMI patrons were tucking into their 600-gram steaks with gusto, so I left without trying the delicious looking salads. I was thinking of asking for the salmon and avo salad - without the onion, but turned left out the gate instead (onion with salmon?). I still don't know who 'Mike' is.

From Mike's Kitchen I walked north along St David Rd -there is a slight uphill to the highway and Oxford Road. Before reaching the corner with Victoria Road where the wall is low there are clear views of the NORTH LODGE house.

North Lodge is one of the most haunted houses (ghost and poltergeist activity) in South Africa. The house was built for Henry S. 'Oats King' Wilson. He made his money by supplying inferior quality horse-feed, he imported from Argentina, to the British Military during the Anglo-Boer War. Mixed in with the feed were seeds of the kakiebos weed that spread throughout South Africa in a matter of months.

There is great anger every year when gardeners and farmers struggle to get rid of the obnoxious weed. Some curse 'Oats King' Wilson and every curse adds to the evil of the house. Others plot the most imaginative revenge strategies and upon their deaths, their ghosts make their way to North Lodge, looking for him. The two ghosts who are most commonly encountered is an older woman dressed in black carrying garden sheers, and a young woman holding a single white lily - the 'gardener' and the 'sacrificial virgin'. During recent renovations, two small secret rooms hidden within the structure of the house were found. The rooms were used for 'religious' purposes.

Note the incorrect spelling on the plaque - Wison is a powerful Chinese family.

  

Across the, dangerous to cross, Victoria Road and around the back of a house called 'Dolobran' is Jubilee Street. There are nice houses in this area.

  

ENDULINI is not such a great place but the first owner, Major Charles Mullins, received the Victoria Cross - a rare occurrence. The requirement for receiving the Victoria Cross is for the recipient to be guilty of an act of complete idiocy in the face of the enemy. Major Mullins got it for charging the enemy after they had already been defeated at an obscure place called Elandslaagte near Ladysmith. The little station was captured by General de Kock when he invaded Natal with his Johannesburg Commando and volunteers from Germany, France, Holland, America and Ireland.

The British attacked with batteries of Royal Field Artillery, the Manchester and Devonshire Regiments, the Gordon Highlanders, the 5th Lancers, the Dragoon Guards, the Imperial Light Horse and the Natal Mounted Rifles. After a massive artillery bombardment, they charged and white flags appeared amongst the Boer positions. As an afternoon storm rolled in,  General de Kock changed into his Sunday best clothes, put on his top hat and counter-charged through the thunder and mud. And died.

A short distance further is the MORMON TEMPLE, the first Church of the Latter-day Saints in Africa built 130 years after the first convert was made in 1853. They never needed a church before as most Mormons moved to America as fast as they could. I immediately liked and disliked the place at the same time. I loved the feeling the hassles of the world stayed in the street behind me. But …

The ostentatious wealth contrast sharply with the squalor found round the corner at the hospital with the impossible name. Within one humanity, how can one reconcile the souring spires of the temple with the cockroach invested crumbling of the hospital? The serenity with six hour queues at the pharmacy? The immaculate gardens with the rubble-strewn street? The fragrance of the rose garden with the urine stench ten meters away? The despair of the poor and sick with the hope of the healthy and wealthy?

When man builds for God, it is perfect, when for the poor - maybe less so.

I loathed walking along Jubilee Rd to the east past the back of the hospital. It is a horrid experience of filth. On the corner of the road that runs down to the hospital is the spectacular Emoyeni situated on the highest point of the ridge - the word means 'up in the air'.

The road curve right and becomes York at the entrance to the WITS medical school. In the faculty building, is the ADLER MUSEUM.

This is one of the great places to visit along the walk, it is a pity the museum and cafeteria is only open weekdays. The cafeteria borders on being superb; there is a nice coffee bar with acceptably clean toilets hidden away on the other side.

As one would expect the take away (and sit) foods serve the normal incredibly unhealthy fare with some exceptions, notably sushi (good!!) and salads. There are also some sweet-tooth treats and hard to resist home-style puddings. Try to find a table outside in the garden. The muffins are good and the coffee as well. But what is it with the red coffee shops? The right color for a coffee shop is the dark green and black of Starbucs. A latte can be blue and light like the sky and tea can be red and frivolous like a woman in a red polka dot dress, but coffee must be dark and brooding with a frown of concentration.

What is good about the museum comes from the context problems it presents to the poorly informed visitor.

·        The relationships between exhibits are difficult to understand - for example, it is unclear how health sciences and a sangoma fit together. What it does make clear is how modern scientific medical practice is culture dependent. The science has to fit in with the intransigence of the sangoma - not the other way round.

·        The relationship between the past and the present is unclear. The medical practitioner will understand the progress made since the use of certain of the exhibits. To the outsider it is all scary, more like torture instruments, than the tools of healing.

With that said, it is exactly these discrepancies that make the museum interesting to the mind outside of the medical profession as it reflects on society, and the attitude of society, towards medicine. The science now has a holistic approach and it takes cognizance of the cultural milieu. Not all medical practitioners will apply what is scientifically the best for their patients because they are also part of a culture with its own taboos.

Something in the medical profession has remained unchanged throughout the ages (and it is not the Hippocratic Oath).

Going down the hill, I turned left and tried to see something of the buildings of Roedeen School with some Baker designs but the wall is too high and only the top of the chapel sticks out.

Oh well, on to the SUNNYSIDE HOTEL across the road on the corner. The gardens are lovely even though they are scattered with rubbish posturing as art. I really think garden gnomes would have been much more fun - seriously what is it with this junk? The place - wow for the chandeliers! Okay, I admit, I was charmed. I would have preferred not to like the place (colonialism and all that), but I did. The staff were cool in their uniforms, and proud to look 'classic'.

At this institution, the toilets are immaculate; the pub unashamedly pretentious and unhealthy catering is done professionally. The visitor will feel it a privilege to have their arteries clogged. (There is a Rea Vaya stop in front of the hotel for those who decide to stop for breakfast or lunch.)

Lord Alfred Milner lived in the house from 1901 until he left the country in 1905 and hated every minute of it, and every second he had to spend in South Africa - but there was a South Africa before Milner, and there was a South Africa after Milner.

On his instruction, the Boer Republics were destroyed during the Anglo-Boer War. In his own words, denuded of everything, and it was done so the Boers would become dependent on British largesse for rebuilding their farms and towns. This allowed him to move ahead and extend British control over the whole country and most importantly, over the Boer leaders like Botha and Smuts. This led to the attempted Anglicization of South Africa.

What motivated Milner is a matter of some controversy and it goes beyond simple imperialism and conspiracy theories that involve gold mines. Easiest to say is it was a number of factors with strong financial undercurrents. Milner knew how bad the British financial situation was. South Africa, or more accurately, a South Africa under British control with citizens loyal to the crown, was part of the solution. Under Milner, racist laws were expanded, and whereas before it was casually applied, it now became the main means of ensuring sufficient black workers for the mines at low wages. Everybody who was not pure blood was discriminated against. Chinese people were brought to South Africa and Milner had them flogged into the mines. The mines flourished.  

Though the British took control of business and established an externally controlled capitalist state - which endures to the present - his Anglicization plan was already failing by the time he left because he ignored the realities on the ground. The Afrikaners refused to accept the British because of the religious differences between the two groups and attempts to force the issue caused attitudes to harden. This took the form of an Afrikaner withdrawal 'into the laager'. A protection of the own at all costs - and it disastrously led to Apartheid.   

After Milner left, the Selbornes moved in and they seem to have been a little happier.

From the hotel, I went back to the corner and up the hill to Ridge Road and then right. Just near the corner are some diamond companies and the house called 'The Hamlet'. The house was built for an accountant with the surname 'Diamond' and it is all a bit much of a coincidence. The house looks like a church.

  

Further along Ridge Road is THE VIEW/TRANSVAAL SCOTTISH HEADQUARTERS where visitors are made to feel like long-lost friends but unfortunately, like the Adler Museum, only open during the week.

The house was build for Thomas Cullinan who made his money from diamonds and who almost captured Jan Smuts (later Field Marshall and Prime Minister) at Moordenaars Poort. So it explains on the blue plaque in front of the house but Cullinan is far more interesting. He was a true success story - a bricklayer who invested all his spare money in property (including The View) and took a chance to  prospect far from the known gold and diamond fields. West of Pretoria, he found diamonds in what is now the town of Cullinan.

His war experiences where less glamorous. Cullinan was part of a 9000 strong British force, which tried to capture Jan Smuts and his 400 men. In August 1901, during the Anglo-Boer War, Smuts went on a raid into the Cape Colony and crossed the Stormberge by way of Moordenaarspoort. Entering the pass Smuts went forward with four men on reconnaissance and landed in an ambush. All four the men died. His horse was shot out from under him and this saved his life, as there was so much firing a cloud of dust and smoke covered his rolling for cover.

Because of this encounter, Smuts was accused of being reckless but only one more of his troops died (rumor has it Smuts himself shot him when the troop went 'bossies') before he got off the mountain. This was mainly due to the mountain living up to its stormy reputation. It was so cold that 90 of the Boer horses died from exposure over the next three days. But the British were even more immobilized and took up defensive positions. After a final night battle that went to the last bullet, Smuts and his men managed to escape to continue their raid much to the consternation of the Capetonians.

The house is now home to the Transvaal Scottish Regiment, a unit formed from British (Scottish) troops who preferred the South African weather and didn't want to go home after the Anglo-Boer War.

Their first serious action was when they became part of Jan Smut's 20 000 strong force, complete with tanks artillery, fighter planes, frigates and bombers, in 1922. The war was against the miners during the Rand Rebellion, which took place in areas of Johannesburg and those who were captured were imprisoned in The Fort.

The Scottish had a far worse time during WWI. In Delville Wood they lost 74% of their force. In June 1942, during WWII, most of the unit was captured by Rommel during the battle for Tobruk in Libya. Since then the unit has been involved in peacekeeping tasks and drinking beer in one of the loveliest pubs in South Africa.

Next to The View is HAZELDENE HALL, a beautiful place hidden behind a high wall and gates. To the left of the wall there are bushes and it is possible to peep through them to get a glimpse of the astonishingly intricate cast iron veranda and decorations.  

Going back to Park Lane I followed it past the Parklane Hospital with its dirty toilet, through the pedestrian gate to the left of the hospital and down past a nice art deco building (Johannesburg has the third most art deco buildings in the world).

Further downhill is the BRENTHURST CLINIC. Clean toilets, terrible cafeteria - the pap and boerewors at Joburg Gen looked more appetizing than the toasted cheese sandwich with its lettuce leaf. The hospital was started by Jack Penn who with Chris Barnard are the country's top names in the human repair business ( so Jaap Boekkooi - 1979). Penn being the scalpel virtuoso who straightened out Johannesburg's collective nose but who still truly cared about everybody's right to look human. This took him to the worst afflictions suffered by man from atom bomb victims in Hiroshima to the victims of leprosy in Lambarene. From WWII, Korea, Vietnam all the way to the Yom Kippur war - everywhere where people   needed reconstructive plastic surgery.

Jack Penn was also an accomplished sculptor who did the Jan Smuts bust, which used to be at the 'old' airport. One of the many curious stories from his life resulted from his friendship with the Israeli general Moshe Dayan. Dayan spent most of his time in the front lines in the Sinai during the 1956 war and, though he wasn't hit his distinctive eye-patch drew the attention of every Egyptian sniper from miles around. Because his eye was damaged in particular way, he had to wear the patch to prevent sand from getting into the socket. Penn reconstructed the eye at Brenthurst and in 1967; Dayan could drive around the Sinai without the patch.   

I managed to find the DISTRICT GRAND LODGE OF SOUTH AFRICA after some floundering about. It is at the back of the hospital parking. The building is not a 'temple', as freemasonry is religious but not a religion, but a 'hall'. All 'halls' are built next to fountains or springs and this one is no exception. Freemasons are supposedly an organization of men who hold that God is the father, all men are brothers and the best way to worship is in practical help to humanity. Staring at the place, I saw an old friend who worked there, and he gave me a guided tour. It is a weird place, and for anyone who gets the chance, worth a visit. This is old time luxury deluxe and apparently, the food is outstanding. Still, in all honestly, and based on the 'coffin as a decorative centerpiece' weirdness scale, I think masons are nutters.

  

It is believed the masons evolved from medieval guilds of the stonemasons, or even the Templers - this is nonsense. The organization started in 1717 when a grand lodge was formed in London and secret societies were quite the rage. This society just had more invented history and claptrap than all the others had, so it survived the next 300 years. And if humanity's love for money and being part of conspiracies to put one over the other sods, are anything to go by, it will not be short of members for the next 300 years.

Next to the hospital is ST MARY ON THE LIMPOPO ANGLICAN CHURCH and it has literally been built on top of the Limpopo River. 

The Limpopo River (or Crocodile River) has its source in Berea and it is 1700 kilometers to the mouth of the river in Mozambique. All along, it is being fed by the numerous springs in the area. The word 'limpopo' does not mean anything it is the sound and the rhythm of the river.

Goodbye, I am going to the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,

all set about with fever-trees,

to find out what the crocodile has for dinner

(Rudyard Kipling - the Little Elephant in 'Just So Stories')

In front of the Brenthurst, is Princess Ave that I followed to the west and PIETER ROOS PARK - and it is a mess. A homeless filled disaster - and pretty dangerous. It should really be avoided. The drug-dealers park their cars on one side of the park, they hide the drugs where they can keep an eye, and then they send their runners across the park to where the buyers park. Most of the deals happen around seven in the morning when the police are changing shifts. The security guards tell that one night somebody got cross with somebody and one of the lovely trees was used for a hanging.  

The famous Edoardo Villa piece, "Oops" is in the park and is often used as a washing line. It looks like a Henry Moore - Villa claims he had never seen a Moore - I believe that … not!

In 1941, during WWII, Villa was wounded and taken POW together with 38 000 Italian troops at Sidi Barrani, west of Tobruk in North Africa. It was the beginning of the end for Italy during the war. Villa was taken to a prison camp near Cullinan where he took up sculpting. After the war, he stayed in South Africa, prospered and lived a long life. His sense of humor is the saving grace of his art.

Deeper in the Park is a memorial to the minesweeper HMSAS Parktown. Originally, the memorial had an anchor as it central motif but this was liberated shortly after the admiral of the navy's unveiling, and sold to the Nigerians.

The Parktown was sunk by German E-boats after the fall of Tobruk on 21 June 1942. (After the Italians ran away from the Allies, Rommel came and the Allies ran away from him, then later the Germans ran away from the Allies.)

The soccer in the background is played wearing studded soccer boots on a 'carpet'. The 'field' had been ripped to pieces but somebody will sponsor new grass soon enough.

I survived the park and walked up the steep Queens Road turned right in Sam Hancock, and left up stairs to the CONSTITUTIONAL COURT. Which has an art collection. The collection is dominated by conceptual rubbish. It is so bad, it is illegal under constitutional law:

For the purpose of this Act, "torture" means any act or omission by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted, by a public official . . . 

The saving grace is a fantastic Marc Chagall lithograph called L'Ange au Chandelier. Though a 'lithograph' is just the fancy name for a copy/fake of the original created or approved by the artist and there are quite a lot of them around, Chagall fakes are proudly being displayed and they are worth as much as R300 000 each. The copy was made from the right half of a Chagall painting called 'Jacob's Dream' - the left half is sloppy and ugly and by leaving it out the artwork was greatly improved.

Chagall found out by creating a highly complicated system of signed and unsigned copies he could make a little extra money. Obviously, this created a fantastic opportunity for forgers who just had to fake a pencil signature (not the entire painting) on an unsigned copy to increase the value a hundred-fold. It is almost impossible to tell even by an expert if the signature was forged. The question must therefore be asked, "Is this fake a forged fake, or a real fake?"

Oh well, it is gorgeous.

In parts, the architects blend the old buildings of the prison with the new court nicely.

  

Further back is THE FORT, which was a prison in 1892. It was situated on top of hospital hill to give the bored guards the incredible view to the north to look at. In secret, a fort was then built around the prison by Paul Kruger. (A fort in the middle of the city?! And from 1896 to 1899, nobody noticed?!) Word was put out it was a state owned gold mine to explain the rising structure. The 'Uitlanders' ('foreigners') were no longer fooled when one morning they could see long range cannons on top. The fort was built not to protect Johannesburg but to blow it apart if the 'Uitlanders' started trouble or joined another invasion force as they had done before. The 'Uitlanders' asked Lord Milner to put pressure on Kruger to have it destroyed - he planted grass and trees on the sides to make it look like a garden.

After the Boers abandoned Johannesburg in 1900, the British moved in and the first one into the The Fort was Breaker Morant. Morant was an Australian who was part of a less than prestigious unit (the 'Bushveldt' Carabineers truly were the dregs) who did no fighting and was relegated to doing escort and guard duties - mostly though, they spent their time getting drunk and told stories about how many Boers they had shot. Morant said he came here to shoot Boers, not to play so he was bitterly disappointed with his duties. When he was left to his own devises away from his officers he murdered, again and again and then felt sorry for himself when he was caught. His execution in 1902 made him an Australian folk hero - or maybe it was the rather romantic movie, which was never intended to be factual.

Towards the end of the Anglo-Boer War, General Christiaan de Wet was the commander of the forces of the Republic of the Orange Free State and the world's greatest exponent of guerilla warfare. He was convinced to lay down arms with the understanding that at the first opportunity the Boer republics would rise up again and regain their independence.

In 1914, WWI presented such an opportunity. The rebellion started with de Wet forging ahead even when the Transvaal refused to honor the agreement (De la Rey refused to lead). De Wet believed horses would always have a place in war, much like the Poles before WWII. This was romantic but rather silly. The 'Special Motor Car Contingent' chased him across the country, took him prisoner, threw him in The Fort and kicked him until he couldn't tie his own shoelaces.

The view from The Fort towards Hillbrow is depressing and the reality of miles and miles of squalor, even more so. It is just so dirty!

Edging to the right I emerged in Joubert Street in front of the Civic Centre. These are ugly buildings. They are so ugly that when I tried to take photos the guards escorted me off the premises - the mayor does not want anybody to know how ugly his office is. The architects were heavily influenced by the disastrous French architect Auguste Perret who designed some of the ugliest buildings in the world. It is so ugly it is worth seeing. It is uglier than the buildings built by the communists in East Germany.

From here, it was an easy downhill walk along Rissik Street past a statue I barely looked at to the cool of the station and home for a cup of tea. There are actually quite a few places where one can find a decent coffee in Johannesburg but a good cup of tea can only be brewed at home. And I wanted tea.